Why I wouldn’t have worn this outfit (how to dress with confidence)

 

Let’s talk about why I never would've worn this outfit 3 years ago.

I never liked my legs and feet. I would have told you I had good reason—they were ugly and I knew they were ugly because people (individuals and society at large) told me that.

Spider veins and purple undertones show through my pale legs, and my feet are often bright red or purple.

So I visited tanning beds and I ruined so many clothes with self-tanner rub-off. I spent hundreds of dollars on Sally Hansen Airbrush legs for every day.

And I definitely did not dress in a way that would draw attention to me when I was baring my legs and purple feet.

Because I truly believed it was my obligation not to draw attention to the ugly parts of my body.

My heart aches for that girl who believed that...

toronto personal stylist-3.jpg

Jacket: vintage | Dress: H&M | Mules: Nine West 'Trey' Bag: Fossil 'Haven' Bucket Bag in Brown

Carrying that burden of believing I owed it to the world to hide my ugly parts, was a heavy weight. A weight I never needed to carry. A weight you don’t need to carry either.

When we dress from a place of fear—fear of drawing too much attention, fear of how different our body is from everyone else’s, fear of what people will say—we’re not serving ourselves, but we’re also not serving anybody else.

When we dress from fear, we’re not opening ourselves up for connection; we’re not sharing our story. We’re not giving ourselves the confidence we need to kill it at a work presentation or make a new friend at the coffee shop.

When we hide our imperfections, we're not showing people someone they can connect with.

When you dress from a place of joy—of what you like, of confidence, of anticipating people’s love instead of their criticism—people see your joy (and not your spider veins.)

toronto personal stylist-4.jpg
toronto personal stylist-9.jpg

By the way, combining pattern + bright colours—fear it will be "too much"?
STYLE TIP: A black and white “loose” pattern is what I call a neutral 2.0. (A piece that's more exciting from a neutal, but you can style it as a neutral.)

If you're going bold in clothing, go muted in accessories: like this brown bag, or nude-coloured flats.

toronto personal stylist-6.jpg
toronto personal stylist-5.jpg
toronto personal stylist-7.jpg
toronto personal stylist-8.jpg
toronto personal stylist-2.jpg

So yes, a striped minidress and a bright red jacket may not look revolutionary to you. But to me, it’s the limit I took off of my joy and it’s the release of the burden of hiding.

And I hope, if you have been carrying the burden of hiding parts of yourself and your body, it’s the encouragement for you to do the same.

As always, leave a comment here or come find me on Instagram to give me your thoughts on today's post!

To being empowered in our story,

signature-long.png

PS: If you've been following along for a few months, you know I am in a season of adding colour + excitement back into my wardrobe! (If you've been following along for a year, you know I've been queen of the neutrals + pastels for as long as one can remember.)

This striped H&M dress is a new patterned addition, as well as the trousers I featured in a recent post. And I think I'm addicted—while passing through the shops yesterday, I was totally lit up by everything patterned (and even picked up one more patterned piece for my spring/summer wardrobe!

All this to say—choose joy, choose being seen.